Updated: Sep 8, 2019
You go to the theatre expecting a great night but it just seems that theatre etiquette is a minefield you need to navigate just to get to the interval. There seem to be so many unwritten rules no one tells you about that don’t seem to apply in your living room. Answering your phone is normal right? Luckily we are here to help. So here are some simple tips for an enjoyable theatre trip so those theatre snobs don’t ruin your night
· Firstly, to keep those theatre snobs happy they expect you act differently than if you are in your lounge. So you shouldn’t take your shoes off and definitely don’t drape your feet over the seat in front. We know you’re just trying to get comfortable but apparently, no.
· We know at home you would shout at the TV, but people get upset if you shout at the actors, or throw peanuts, or drinks. Really, just refrain from throwing anything.
· It’s apparently frowned upon to eat a chinese takeaway in the theatre (I have no idea why, I don’t know why everyone isn’t doing it) so finish it before going inside.
· Switch your phone off.
· If your phone rings see above tip.
· This tip is probably going to be a difficult one but it’ll probably help with the rest…don’t get drunk. I know, I know, you’re on a night out and that bottle of Chardonnay won’t drink itself. But you shouldn’t either, at least not until after the show.
· We understand that you’ve paid £150 so you can catch-up with Charlie in a nice environment with a great atmosphere however, those theatre snobs want to watch the show, so maybe leave the talking until after the show.
· On a similar note people don’t want to hear your high notes during the show. Yes, you’ve learnt all the lyrics to Dancing Queen and made up your own routine which everyone should want to see. They don’t. Sit down, be quiet.
· Clearly, if you go see a show you have to put it on Snapchat, why else would you go? Theatre snobs would not be happy though, so keep you phone in your trousers
· Speaking of keeping it in your trousers…remember you’re not on your sofa at home so when you’re in the back row at Spamalot no sex please, we’re British.
And one final observation – does everyone have the bladder of a hamster these days? If you can’t make it through ‘Come From Away’ don’t even think about going to see ‘End Game’!
On a serious note we have to say a big thank you to the unsung heroes of live theatre – the ushers. All of the incidents above have happened and it’s the ushers who deal with them to ensure the best experience for everyone there.
A little respect for those around you and I’m sure everyone can have a great time.